How to wisely wield the power of leadership

Leaders wield a lot of power.  Even when we aren’t trying to.

The power of leadership

We influence, positively and negatively, in every action, reaction, and interaction.   Getting excited about a topic, feeling frustrated about avoidable rework, or digging into a problem to root out solutions…each moment is one to be mindful of how we are perceived.

Why is that?  Because even if we “just want to help” or are frustrated with our own contribution (or lack thereof) to a challenge, how we show up is watched.  Interpreted.  Assigned meaning.  Usually with no request for confirmation from us.  

In an attempt to navigate the workplace, all of us do this.  It’s human nature.  We do this in the wild too.  It’s all part of the brain taking in data points, determining if the data represents something or someone “safe” or “unsafe” and then deciding what to do about it.

It sucks, but it’s part of the job.  As much as we want leaders who are authentic, genuine, transparent, and human, because we are human, we are going to interpret and assign additional meaning due to one additional factor.  The power of leadership.

Threat state

In the current environment, it is even more critical for leaders to be aware of and mindful about their power.  We are in a heightened threat state due to health, financial, community, and home challenges.  

There is not an area in our lives right now that isn’t sideways.  

I’ve been fortunate to participate in several NeuroLeadership Institute (NLI) programs and learned about their SCARF model.  This model was a theoretical exercise for me until COVID hit.  Suddenly, I understood threat state because I was in one.

There are five types of threats that we are all faced with during the course of our interactions.  Often, they are relatively easy to manage and put in context.  Or get ourselves out of.  

Right now we are all trying to navigate a myriad of new and highly complex status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness threats (SCARF) regularly.  Ones we have no roadmap for.

Neutral may be seen as negative

As a result, behaviors and actions that would have been perfectly acceptable a few months ago, are being reevaluated with a new lens.  Relationships are tested and questioned.  Trust may be shaken.  

We have not suddenly become different people, but when we are all in a threat state, we are less likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt.  We are more likely to see threats in what would otherwise be neutral interactions.  To react with our lizard brain and go into fight, flight, or freeze mode.

While we may be leaders, we are people too.  The reality is that we need to not only be aware of the heightened threat state of our people, but our own as well.  

Everything that is happening in the world right now is happening to us too.  Which means we are also more likely to go into fight, flight, or freeze.  And our people are watching.

Toward state

How do we manage an extended period of threat state?  This is an unprecedented time, where everyday we are faced with new threats and hyper vigilant to any new perceived threat.

When we are caught up in fear, our lizard brain looks for where the threat is coming from and to identify blame.  That can be ourselves, or something outside ourselves.  At work, that is often the leader.  

Even good leaders will receive their share of blame during times of crisis or threat state.  It takes awareness and a concerted effort for leaders to help their teams navigate.  

To get someone (or ourselves) out of threat state, we need to redirect to a toward state.  This is one where we move out of lizard brain and into executive functioning.  The one that allows us to pause and evaluate a situation and respond with reason instead of fear.

In a toward state, someone can create insights, connect ideas, have patience, and give someone the benefit of the doubt.  They are less likely to jump to conclusions, judge harshly, or believe something that doesn’t align with what they know to be true.

Transition from fear to forward

Moving to a toward state requires a reward response to balance or offset the threat response.  

As an individual, rewards may put to mind things like comfort food or self-care.  What those actions are, though, are certainty rewards.  When we feel out of control (certainty threat) we may take an action that gives us a feeling of control (certainty reward), even if it’s something small in comparison.

In my marriage, I felt a lack of control in the relationship (relatedness and certainty threats).  As a result, I controlled what I could.  The music I was willing to listen to, the restaurants I was willing to go to and food I would eat…they were small ways I could obtain a feeling of control (certainty rewards) that allowed me to function in a negative environment.

There are many ways to reward ourselves or our teams, to help with the transition from fear to forward.

• Status rewards may include saying thank you for someone’s hard work or recognizing the effort that went into something they are struggling with.
• Certainty rewards can include insights into work in progress, or confirmation of decisions and outcomes.  Even if there is much unknown, what is known and can be shared?
• Autonomy rewards might be encouraging someone to make a decision in an area that impacts them or saying “you’ve got this.”
• Relatedness focuses on relationships, so rewards may include a virtual lunch or happy hour, or simply (and genuinely) asking about someone’s family or how they spent their weekend.
• Fairness rewards could be creating insight to a process that impacts the team, outlining how it was done fairly and consistently.

A word of warning 

Recognizing that we, or our teams, are in a threat state may be difficult right now.  Because threats are constant, we are all figuring out how to cope and navigate the best we can.  So it might seem like we are “doing okay.”

It’s possible we are.  It’s also probable that we are constantly in a low to moderate threat state.  Better as leaders to assume we have to help our teams move to a toward state in every interaction.  Because when we are in a threat state, even neutral interactions can be perceived as negative.

In addition to approaching interactions with potential threat state in mind, leaders should also consider that what worked previously may not work in this unprecedented time. 

For example, whatever regular communications were sent previously, may need to increase.  They may need to be reviewed with a mind to whether they are creating certainty or uncertainty.  Whether we are doing enough to recognize contributions.

We may also have to spend some time focusing on our own state of mind.  Moving ourselves to a toward state before we go into interactions with our teams, peers, customers, or leaders.

While there is a lot of change going on in the world, one thing is certain.  We are all going through the same storm.  Our individual experiences and impacts are different, but we are all doing our best to weather current events.  If there was ever a time where we could benefit from self and shared empathy, this is it.

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If you are interested in learning more about the SCARF model to understand threats and rewards, NLI has some great podcasts and articles that can help.

Have you had experience helping teams navigate uncertainty and change?  What have you found that works?  Please share your experiences in the comments to keep the conversation going.