Growing up, the spaces I lived in were always utilitarian. My military father believed in buying something once and it lasting forever (I still have the dresser he bought me when I was 10 years old). Furniture would be fixed rather than replaced and little new was added each time we moved, as that happened frequently.
As I got older, I never really thought about my space that much. The couch should always be cozy enough to watch TV and take an afternoon nap. Everything else was about function over form.
It wasn’t until I started struggling with my health that I realized how important our space can be. Now I wish I considered it a lot sooner.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
No matter where we are in our journeys, we are all carrying something. The weight of responsibilities, expectations, regret…the list goes on.
Home is the one place where we can hopefully put those things down. It’s not always possible or safe, but assuming we have a room that’s ours, ideally it would be a haven where we can relax.
Yet do we design it that way?
What would a space look like that makes it easy to put down the weight we carry? Provide an opportunity to put down the crown (worries and stressors) and rest our heads?
What do we need?
As I mentioned previously, utilitarian was my existence for years. A few years ago, I moved into a new home. There were so many things to update and improve…but not one of them was the place where I’d spent 8+ hours a day.
It never occurred to me to improve the space where I sleep. After all, I’m unconscious there, so what do I really need?
Then I started having major issues with my neck and spine. I struggled to sleep in the bed I had been using for years. It was time for a change.
I researched the best bed for my particular health issues. Who knew that different beds are better for different types of sleepers, spine issues, etc? I do now. It was the first step towards better sleep and totally worth the investment.
What do we want?
The new mattress was perfect and definitely helped improve my sleep. At that point, however, I was changing the size of my bed and needed new linens. I decided to not be as utilitarian about it and be more mindful about what would feel best. What did I want to experience in my space?
I decided to upgrade my pillows, blankets, and sheets to reflect what I’d experience at a great hotel or resort. Why should I wait for vacation to feel amazing? Why couldn’t I get that same feeling all year long?
Changes do not have to be significant to be impactful. A weighted blanket can support quality sleep. Our favorite colors may create a feeling of safety and or reprieve.
What may seem like simple shifts helped turn my space into a haven. Where I go to rest and let go of the stressors of the day. It is no longer practical and utilitarian, but welcoming and comforting.
A house or a home
I recently moved to another town to allow my son to graduate from a different high school. While I love my house – and plan to return in a few years – I’m renting another space for now.
Moving is always chaotic, no matter how much experience we may have with it. Having learned the lesson about my personal space, the first two rooms I set up were my bedroom and office. They are where I spend the bulk of my time.
The office always made sense since I spend so much of my waking time there. Now I know that having a haven to retreat to at the end of the day is just as critical. As I navigated the craziness of the move, I had a quiet area that supported rest and recovery when I needed it.
A long-time friend recently reminded me of my penchant for naps as a way to manage stress. I’m happily rediscovering them in the new space.
Maybe I’m late to the party and others already knew the value of a personal haven. If so, I’d love to hear how you’ve created a space that supports relaxation and rejuvenation, helping you regroup at the end of a long day. Please share your thoughts in the comments to support those of us that are still on this particular self-care journey.
