Sometimes the things we’re most excited about are also the things that terrify us. The dream job that would challenge everything we know. The relationship that could be everything we’ve wanted. The adventure that’s been calling our name for months.
That’s exactly where I find myself right now, staring at my upcoming solo trip to Iceland. It’s something I’ve been dreaming about – my chance to restart my adventurous heart after playing it safe for too long. I’ve already decided I’m going to Iceland – that choice is made. But deciding to do something scary and actually feeling brave about it? Those are two very different things.
Iceland. Oh my there are some scary things there. Boiling mud if you walk off a marked path. Wind that can blow your car off the road. Glaciers that can eat you whole if you try to hike alone.
Very real fears. Part of me is scared to death to go. I’m afraid I picked a scary ass place to restart my adventurous heart. But I’m going to go. Go afraid, but go.
Maybe you’re staring at your own version of Iceland right now. That job interview, difficult conversation, creative project, or life change that has you frozen in place. The what-ifs spinning in your head, the worst-case scenarios playing on repeat.
Here’s what I’ve learned: deciding to do something scary doesn’t make the fear disappear. I named my fears, wrote myself a permission slip, and booked the ticket. But I’m still terrified. When anxiety and uncertainty are still there even after you’ve committed, there are two ways to use fear as motivation to move forward anyway. Two simple questions that can transform terror into fuel.
Two Ways to Use Fear as Motivation
Whether your Iceland is a career pivot, a difficult relationship conversation, or finally starting that side project, these two approaches have helped me move through fear instead of being paralyzed by it.
False Evidence Appearing Real
The first question to ask yourself: Is the story I’m telling myself true?
How often do we make up entire stories in our heads when we don’t really know what someone’s thinking or what will happen? If not sure or know it’s just a story and not real, remind yourself fear isn’t fact and dismiss it.
Try this: Write down your specific fear. Then ask yourself: “What evidence do I actually have that this will happen?” Often, you’ll discover you’re afraid of a story you’ve created, not reality.
If it is true, then there’s a choice. Which brings us to the second approach.
Face Everything And Rise
The second question we can ask ourselves is “Do I want this badly enough to do it afraid?”
When the fear is real – when there is actual risk involved – we can turn around, quit, feed the fear, OR we can do it afraid.
Our comfort zones don’t push us to grow. To improve. If we are afraid, we are preparing to level up. But that only happens if we are willing to do it afraid.
How many times have you been afraid to fail, which was entirely possible when trying something new, and you nailed it? Fear can be fuel if we let it.
Try this: Ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could realistically happen? Can I handle that outcome?” Then ask: “What’s the best that could happen if I move forward?” Often, the potential upside far outweighs the downside risk.
Putting It Into Practice: My Iceland Decision
So back to my Iceland dilemma. Let me show you how I’m using both approaches.
First, I had to separate stories from facts. I’m sure it’s going to be fine as long as I’m smart and pay attention to signs and markers. I’m very risk-aware, and it’s one of the safest countries for women traveling alone. The true risk is low if I follow the rules and pay attention.
The fear? That’s mostly False Evidence Appearing Real. My imagination running wild with disaster scenarios that probably won’t happen.
But there are real risks too. That’s where Face Everything And Rise comes in. I’m anxious and afraid, but I’m going anyway. The next trip will be less scary. I just need to get to the other side of this one. The first time for non-work solo travel. The first time driving in a foreign country. The first time to Iceland.
But it will also be my first empty nest adventure. My first orange lighthouses. My first time visiting a Nordic area where my ancestors come from. First hiking trip outside the US.
Your Turn
Think about your own Iceland. What stories are you telling yourself that might not be true? What real risks exist, and how can you prepare for them while still moving forward?
It’s going to be amazing. Because the other side of fear always is.
While you read this, I’m putting these tools to the test in real-time, managing fear while living my adventure in Iceland. Because that’s the thing about fear – it doesn’t just disappear when we decide to be brave. Our brains will keep trying to keep us safe, but the safety of our comfort zones doesn’t allow us to do amazing things.
Whatever your Iceland looks like, remember: you don’t have to eliminate fear to move forward. You just have to decide whether it’s worth doing it afraid. Most of the time, it is.
The other side of fear is where all the good stuff lives – the growth, the adventure, the stories you’ll tell for years. Your comfort zone is nice and safe, but your Iceland is waiting.
