I recently found myself back in the world of non-fiction, partly thanks to my master’s program, which has me diving deep into leadership studies. But while theory is great, I needed something more—something that would resonate with my everyday experiences.
That’s when Unleashed by Frances Frei and Anne Morriss caught my eye. It had been sitting on my to-be-read list, and I finally picked it up while walking on my treadmill. I’m so glad I did! Unlike the theoretical texts I’ve been reading, Unleashed offered actionable insights that felt like they were speaking directly to me. Here are five lessons that really stood out:
1. Celebrating Other People’s Awesomeness (OPA)
How often do we let someone do something amazing and just let the moment pass? I know I have.
The authors talk about being ambassadors of “Other People’s Awesomeness” (OPA). It’s about catching people doing amazing things and letting them know. It creates a virtuous cycle to increase those amazing moments.
Recently, I was reminded of how powerful this can be from leaders in a development program I’m building. A few sent me public recognition for the energy and insights I brought to our one-on-one meetings and group discussions. Honestly, I just thought I was doing my job, but it felt amazing to be acknowledged.
It reminded me that even something as simple as a thank you for what we might consider “small” contributions can have a big impact. Today, I want to challenge you (and myself) to do just that. Tell someone what they’re doing right. It might seem like a small gesture, but it can genuinely boost morale and motivation.
2. The Trust Wobble
Trust is everything in leadership, but it’s also super fragile. Frei and Morriss describe trust as a three-legged stool supported by authenticity, empathy, and logic. When trust falters, one of those legs usually gets wobbly.
For me, my trust wobble is empathy—I get so caught up in my own perspective that I forget to see things from others’ viewpoints. Ugh, not something I’d like to admit, but important to recognize if I want to address it.
There’s good new though. We also have a “Trust Driver,” the leg of the stool that stays solid even in challenging times. For me, that’s logic. Even when emotions are high or situations feel uncertain, I can lean on clear reasoning to help rebuild trust.
What about you? Which leg of the stool can you consistently rely on? And which one tends to wobble? Knowing this about yourself is a huge step toward building stronger relationships.
3. The Agony of the Super Smart (ASS)
Ever been in a meeting, totally engaged until you’ve grasped the concept or shared your brilliant idea… and then you zone out? Yeah, that’s the “Agony of the Super Smart.”
The acronym is just what I felt like when I recognized myself in this one. This has happened more than I’d like to admit. As someone who is AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD), staying engaged can be a real challenge for me sometimes—my brain seems to have its own ideas about what’s interesting or worth focusing on! But this reminded me how important it is to find ways to stay engaged that work for me.
Now, I want to ask you: Does this happen to you too? What strategies do you use to stay present and engaged, even when your mind starts to wander? For me, it’s about finding ways to stay active in the conversation—whether that’s taking notes, asking follow-up questions, or even reframing the conversation in my head so it feels fresh again. Let’s share some tips in the comments!
4. Embracing Imperfection for Growth
Perfectionism is a beautifully laid trap. We want to present good work and be seen as competent and capable. Waiting for the right moment or that perfect powerpoint presentation just slows us down and limits learning. The authors remind us to “be willing to be bad in the service of great.”
This one hit close to home for me because I’ve had moments where I’ve shared documents with senior leaders that didn’t land the way I’d hoped. At first, there’s always that face-palm moment followed by some ruminating (okay, maybe a lot). But then I remind myself: it’s win or learn. What can I take from their feedback?
Recently, one such moment turned into something incredible—a final product that ended up being shared at the top levels of the company. Their feedback pushed me to level up – and prevented me from falling down on a bigger stage – and now I’m genuinely proud of what we created together.
It’s a great reminder that early feedback—even when it stings—can lead to something far better than what we could achieve on our own.
5. Telling a Compelling Story of Change
When you need to lead change, facts alone won’t cut it. You need a story that inspires. The authors suggest framing your case for change like this:
- The Good Old Days: What worked well before.
- The Change Mandate: Why staying the same isn’t an option.
- The Optimistic Way Forward: What’s possible if we take this leap.
This one really landed with me because I come from a data background where facts and figures were usually enough to prove a point and get buy-in. In my latest role, I’ve been inspired by leaders who bring challenges to life with stories—whether it’s from employees or clients—and connect those stories back to the bigger picture. It’s made me realize how much more powerful storytelling can be when paired with data. Numbers inform; stories move people.
Consider the last time you needed to convince others of a new idea. How could you have used storytelling to make your message more compelling? How might the case for change framework help you inspire others moving forward?
Final Thoughts: Leadership Is About Others
For me, the biggest takeaway from Unleashed is a reminder that leadership isn’t about me. I continue to believe that leadership starts from within. We have to lead ourselves before we can lead others. However, we can’t be so focused on how we show up in service to others that we forget to center them in our interactions.
Leadership is about creating a space where others can thrive. It’s a mindset shift from “me” to “we,” and it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
Your Turn!
What resonates with you? Have you struggled with any of these challenges? Let’s chat in the comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
