It’s been many decades, but I still remember my first day of first grade. My teacher, Ms Johnson, left an indelible memory. It took all of a few minutes before she was trying to change me.
We were working on penmanship as she wanted to see if we knew our letters. I’m left-handed and she told me I had to write with my right hand. When I refused – my first word was no and still one of my favorites – she said she’d call my parents and tell them I wasn’t complying.
I laughed.
That’s right. I laughed at my teacher and told her to go ahead. I had every confidence they wouldn’t tell me to change. So I told her what she could do with her perspective and went about my writing.
When I reflect back now…what happened to that girl? The one that was so convinced she didn’t need to adjust to fit in. To be capable. To do what others did?
I’m working to rediscover her. I miss her sass and confidence. Her certainty of a world where she belonged as she is.
The world isn’t friendly to the neurospicy or anyone different. It’s not accepting. It sows doubt and tears down more than it lifts up. Unless you fit an arbitrary norm that can change with the tide.
Next time the world says it will call me out for not contorting, I’ll say go ahead. Laugh the joyous laugh of a 6-year-old girl confident in who she is and how she shows up in the world. I’m done changing for others. Self-assured and self-inspired growth are the only kinds of change I’m interested in.
Do you ever feel compelled to conform or adjust to fit into the spaces around you? What would it take to resist conformity and show up unapologetically YOU?
