Forget fairy tales. How to level up by becoming a dragon slayer.

We don’t face a dragon once and slay it.  That’s a myth from the land of fairy tales.

The heroine’s journey is as old as time and is as relevant now as it ever was.  There’s a reason why Disney tells such globally appealing stories.  They are all based on a core premise that resonates with so many of us.  The ability to face and conquer our challenges and fears.

The journey is a simple one, but very powerful.  The heroine is faced with a challenge (whatever form the “dragon” takes).  She can ignore it, but then it just keeps appearing until she decides to face it.  

Along the way, she receives help and guidance.  Mentors advise her and get her ready for the journey.  Prepare her to slay the dragon.  However, when the time comes, she confronts the dragon on her own, realizing the power is within her to conquer that which she must face.

Usually, the journey ends with the return.  The heroine comes back victorious, now positioned to mentor others.  It makes for a nice wrap to a book or movie, but that’s not how the story ends in real life.

Happily ever after isn’t one where the dragon is gone.  It keeps returning in one form or another.  Does that mean that we haven’t really addressed the challenge?  No.  When we see the dragon again in a new form, it means we are leveling up.

Same dragon, next-level challenges

I was meeting with one of my clients and we were digging into a challenge she was experiencing.  At one point, she lamented “I thought I already faced this.  Maybe I am not as far along as I thought.”

As an outsider, I could see how far she had come and told her so.  The version of her, and her challenge, from months ago were very different from the one of today.  The challenge from the early days of our relationship was focused on one area of her life.  One she was consistently mastering.

We talked about the dragon.  I asked her “Is this dragon the exact same as the last one?”  No.  Instead, this had new players that were challenging her in new ways.  Similar theme, but she might need new tools or methods to address this one.

Rather than consider that she has backtracked, I suggested this was a bigger dragon.  Because she had mastered the “level 1 dragon” she had the skills and foundation to face this new one.  The universe was sending a signal that she was ready to face a new challenge.  To level up.

The next time we are tempted to think we are failing to grow because we are seeing variations of the same challenge over and over, let’s flip the narrative.  We are growing into new versions of ourselves.  How empowering to think our personal growth is what makes us ready for a level 10+ dragon.

Embrace the moniker of dragon slayer

On my office whiteboard, I describe my ideal self.  On it, you will find “dragon slayer.”

Years ago, when I embraced the heroine’s journey as my own, I also embraced a universal truth.  I am the dragon.  

Each challenge I face is me against me.  I am fighting an old version of myself that needs to be let go of to allow the new me to come forth.  The dragon could come in the form of old ideas, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships, or toxic environments.  They all represent something that I have to work through to move forward into the next version of myself.

For example, it would be easy to consider a bad boss to be a dragon that needs to be slain.  Nope.  The dragon is really my ability to set boundaries, to use my voice, or to move on when it’s clear the environment is not healthy for me.

I’ve gone through that particular challenge many times.  Each as a new version of myself.  By now, I have lost count of what level I’m on, but this is why I can look back at crappy environments and poor experiences with a small smile and gratitude.  I am the dragon AND the dragon slayer, forged by fire.

And that’s pretty badass.

Take on the dragons and take on the world

Taking on our dragons – the internal and external challenges we face – isn’t easy.  Whether it’s inner work we need to do on ourselves, or for ourselves…the mirror is potentially the hardest thing to face on our personal journeys.  Yet there is nothing more worthwhile.

Embracing the moniker of dragon slayer means knowing our growth work is never done.  That there are infinite ways to level up.  To have no more dragons would mean to give up the chance to lean into all that we are capable of.

Seeing our dragons as gifts, and being a dragon slayer as an aspiration, can help us through the difficulty a change journey brings.  To face the mirror and press through when we’d rather turn away.

And that’s a happily ever after that we rarely see in fairy tales.  The dragon slayer, spending her life facing challenges with a smile because she knows she’s about to level up.