I’m sure a lot of people are sick of seeing non-stop COVID coverage in their feeds. Tired of thinking about it. Tired of worrying.
There are a lot of helpful posts I’ve been seeing. Suggestions for finding gratitude. For ways to use any newly available time. About how to adjust to our new normal.
As women, we see recommendations to keep to our routines…make sure we get up on time, get dressed, put on makeup and do our hair (I’ll keep my yoga pants and ponytail thank you), stop work at a certain time. Then there’s the recommendations to get more rest, eat well, exercise, etc.
If we add all these things together, helpful advice can feel can feel less than helpful as we try to decide which ones to do. Or feel that we’re failing if we aren’t able to do them all.
I appreciate that folks mean well. Particularly in the effort to put something meaningful and positive out to break the endless virus news.
There are days when I feel positive and “up.” Hey – there are some great things we are learning that I think can continue when we get back to whatever passes as “normal.” Moments when I want to write and share those with others to give them hope.
And then there are days like last Sunday, where the feeling of overwhelm is suffocating. Where the brain just turns to the off position and says “I’m full.”
Recognizing emotional overload
Does it feel like a roller coaster to you too? Some days, hours, or minutes are okay. Others get caught up in the news or in distractions to avoid it.
This may be obvious, but things are changing that quickly. There is new information coming in regularly. Our state is implementing a shelter-in-place order on Monday. I’ve been preparing for it, but the reality feels a little different.
Work is shifting, for those of us still fortunate enough to be working with the ability to be remote. Supporting our people as they adjust to new working conditions, potentially with kids at home. Doing that ourselves. And as the news shifts, often a businesses has to shift as well.
Having control in a situation is a myth we tell ourselves. It is no more obvious than now that we are not in control of what is happening. And that out of control feeling, with constant changes, can result in emotional overload as we try and process and respond the best we can.
Hanging out in couch city
Last Sunday was uncomfortable. I don’t think I moved off the couch the entire day, letting Star Wars movies run in the background while I was increasingly frustrated with my inability to distract myself from the feeling of overwhelm I was experiencing.
At some point, I realized it was exactly what I needed. What I was trying to avoid – feelings – were the very thing I needed to embrace, so I could process them and start to move forward. I stopped fighting those uncomfortable emotions and embraced them.
I gave myself permission to feel, and the grace for it to be messy. If I didn’t, the feelings were still going to come out, but maybe during a conversation with a coworker, or with my family. Come out in ways I didn’t intend. By accepting where I was, what I needed, and giving myself permission to feel, I started to develop words for what was happening.
I was grieving. Scared. Feeling disconnected from friends and family, even though I was talking with them regularly. Because I was avoiding talking about what was really going on with me. I was talking about everything BUT that as a distraction, instead of leaning into what was happening and asking for help.
The one thing we can do
In any situation, there are choices. That’s part of what feeds the myth about control. We have options as to how we act and react. There may be many potential avenues to move forward.
Whether there are too many options to make a clear choice, or what feels like no option at all, there is always one. Acceptance.
We can always accept where we are in the moment. Recognize it sucks. Accept we are doing the best we can. That we can only work with the information we have today. That tomorrow is a day to try again.
We can also accept that what works for one person may not work for us. What works today may not work tomorrow. Each of us must consider what we need today or right now, and do our best not to judge ourselves harshly as it changes. Because it will change.
Comparing ourselves to others is the LAST thing any of us need right now. If someone else’s post gives you an idea that works for you, awesome. If that’s not where you are right now, please don’t compare and find yourself lacking because you’re letting a screen babysit your kids while you try to get work done. No one needs that kind of judgement, certainly not from our own inner critic.
With acceptance, we can give ourselves permission to feel. To offer a little grace for where we are right now, which may be exactly what we need in these unprecedented times.
There is hope
Sunday was rough. Each day this week has been better. I have been able to process what I was feeling and put it into words. It allowed me to talk with others, further allowing me to feel supported and understood.
Isn’t that what all of us could use right now? Acceptance, support, and understanding?
I appreciate it may not be easy. I tried to meditate for a bit on Sunday as part of processing my thoughts and emotions, and all I could hear was the kids bickering and the alarm on the oven. Life can get in the way of what we need on a good day.
As you try to give yourself whatever it is that you need today, or in this moment, please remember to have a little grace. For yourself and those around you. We’re all experiencing this in our own way, but also collectively sharing an experience. What an opportunity if we allow it.
