I love my job. That hasn’t always been the case. Previous roles have drained me, impacting my mental and physical health. But this job? It’s awesome. There’s something special about bringing your whole self to work and doing meaningful things that energize you.
Recently, though, I had a week that tested me. By Friday, I was counting the minutes until I could sign off.
That evening, while talking with a friend, I reflected on the past couple of days. Despite some draining tasks, the week had been mostly good. However, Thursday and Friday were tough. I felt like I hadn’t shown up as my best self, and with more challenging work ahead, I was worried. Very worried.
Define your best self
While I’m not big on the notion of ‘personal branding,’ the reality is that we all have one. It starts with knowing our values and how we want to show up every day. What does the best version of ourselves look like? Every interaction either reinforces or erodes this version, both in our own minds and in the minds of others.
Without intentionality about our best self, we risk moving through life unaware of how we’re presenting ourselves. To achieve good, let alone great, we must first define what ‘good’ looks like. For leaders, this is crucial: we must lead ourselves effectively before we can lead others. At its core, self-leadership is about knowing and consistently living our values in every interaction.
In my case, I noticed my patience waning in at least two meetings. Perhaps others didn’t notice, but I did. This realization was enough for me to recognize I was in a precarious state and needed to take action. I couldn’t risk entering another week feeling drained and increasingly irritable.
Identify your challenges
We’ve defined what the best version of us looks like. The next step is to consider what challenges cause us to deviate. What are the circumstances where we show up less than our best?
In my case, I have two that I know of.
- Spending an excessive amount of time on detail-oriented tasks like filling in spreadsheets and tying out numbers. I find it exhausting, and it lowers my patience and empathy levels.
- Being pulled into activities that someone else is capable of doing during a time crunch. Usually, I’m happy to help. If there’s a deadline, and I get questions folks know the answer to, less so. It feels like willful incompetence in those moments and my frustration level goes from 1 to 10.
Not sure what your challenges are? Try asking someone you trust. While we may have a blind spot, those around us tend to know when we’re smooth sailing and when we’ve hit choppy waters.
Knowing what challenges us is half the battle. If we know how we want to show up AND what gets in the way, we can create strategies to help.
Strategies for improvement
The next step is finding the antidote to our challenges. What actions can we take to diffuse the challenges so we can make it easier to show up as our best selves?
I’ve found three, but there may be others depending on the nature of the challenge. These are personal and should reflect what works for each of us. There’s no one solution that works for everyone, and finding our unlocks may take some trial and error.
1. Reschedule meetings or spread out work
I knew by Friday that I was cooked. My brain was caught up in spreadsheet hell and physically hurt from the analysis I was doing. It was good stuff, but that kind of work is my kryptonite. If I’m doing that all week, I have no business meeting with people on Friday. Ideally, I’d spread the work throughout a week or two. In this case, I had a deadline. Instead, I can do my best to move meetings where I need to “people” with patience and empathy.
2. Ask for help
While tons of spreadsheets and data analysis are my kryptonite, they are someone else’s superpower. Knowing the gifts of those around us can help distribute our draining tasks to those who are energized by them. A win-win for everyone involved. If that’s not possible, I can ask for grace. I let my team know – in advance – that I’m normally overjoyed to help. If I’m up against a deadline they may not know about, I communicate it. I’ll ask them to be mindful during that timeframe and consider whether they really need my help or it’s convenience.
3. Commit to healthy coping
Knowing what resets our energy levels is a huge lever we can use when we find ourselves out of sorts. I schedule coaching time every Monday and Friday to start and end the week on a high. Hiking is also a great mental reset. If it’s a long, challenging week, there will be a long hike that weekend rain or shine. I went out for 9 miles after that draining week, and any lingering stress fell away. Each of our healthy coping mechanisms may be different, but find what works and introduce it into the day, evening, or weekend if possible for a reset.
The power of grace
The bonus step we can all benefit from is embracing grace. None of us are perfect – we’re all perfectly human. That’s all any of us can be, so let’s embrace it.
We’ll inevitably have moments where we look back and cringe. Some rumination is natural because we know we’re capable of better than those less-than-perfect moments. But here’s the thing: it’s okay. Mistakes happen. What matters is how we respond:
- Own our missteps
- Reflect on what we can do differently next time
- Commit to improvement
- Extend grace to ourselves – the same grace we’d likely offer others in similar situations
Next time you find yourself skidding into the weekend, drained and worried about how you showed up:
- Take a deep breath
- Reflect on the situation
- Reset your mindset
- Make amends if necessary
Remember, others often extend grace when we ask for it. Our job is to request it when needed, learn from the experience, and strive to show up as our best selves moving forward.
By cultivating self-compassion and embracing our humanity, we create space for growth and authenticity.
Your turn: Reflect and Share
We all face challenges that can prevent us from being our best selves. What obstacles do you encounter? Have you discovered effective strategies to overcome them?
I invite you to share your experiences and insights in the comments below. Your story could be the inspiration someone else needs to transform their work life.
Let’s create a supportive community where we can learn from each other and grow together. What’s one step you’ll take this week to show up as your best self?
