Mine is a stressful profession. I am a change leader by trade, so stress has been normalized for years. I’ve even been heard to say that the stress and pressure associated with my work keep me sharp.
As someone who lives in their head a lot, I can be aware that I have a stressful role – or am dealing with a stressful situation – and not “feel” particularly stressed. I’ve been asked about corresponding emotions that may be a sign of high stress, such as anxiety. I’m not exactly sure what that feels like.
Our inner worlds can be quite diverse. What anxiety looks or feels like in one person might look very different in another. While there’s a lot more discussion and awareness now, growing up no one taught me how to recognize emotions. At least apart from obvious ones like anger and joy.
Well, sometimes our feelings might not show up in our heads. In my case, some feelings, like anxiety, show up in my body long before I can recognize them consciously. By the time I am aware, I’m already burned out or suffering ill effects health-wise. At that point, emotions are the last thing on my mind…just a sense of exhaustion and the need to recover.
As I’ve learned about how emotions can show up in the body, I’ve been paying more attention to mine.
Replacing frustration and fear with curiosity
For most of my life, I’ve felt as though I’m in a battle with my body. It’s often been broken and needed repairing or left me in pain when that’s the last thing I needed at that moment.
Or so I thought.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve suffered from unexplained abdominal pain. It would pop up at unexpected times, leaving me in the fetal position for most of the day. At one point in my mid-20s, I remember a month when I worked from bed each day, unable to function from the discomfort.
During a random conversation with a friend during such an episode, he asked what had been going on in my life recently. I shared an experience the day before that was particularly difficult and he wondered if this was my body processing what had happened.
It was the first time I considered that my body was trying to give me messages. I had considered all sorts of things that might be “wrong” but never that my body was telling me something important about what I was experiencing.
Rather than be frustrated and fearful about these episodes, or other unexplained episodes like headaches, I could be curious. There might be a mind-body disconnect going on that I’m unsure how to fix, but I can listen. Be aware of the first sign something is different and consider what it is trying to tell me.
Physical manifestations of our emotions
Through my reading and research, I’ve learned that our feelings show up in our bodies. We are a whole and complete system, not a brain and body. Even if it feels like that sometimes.
In the book Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, they talk about burnout coming from emotions that get trapped in the body, causing our digestive, nervous, respiratory, and other systems to go haywire.
It validated what I was experiencing with abdominal pain. As I look back over the years, I notice that the pain is tied to the stress surrounding relationships. When I’m in unhealthy relationships, the incidents increase. There are certain individuals that I dread engaging with. I am almost certain to have an episode leading up to or immediately following an interaction.
There are other signs. For example, as I’m getting ready to speak publicly, my ears may get hot. I’ve come to recognize that as a sign of nervousness. With that knowledge, I can reassure myself that I know my material and remind myself to slow down.
What other signals have my body tried to tell me that I’ve ignored over the years? I’m not suggesting that every twitch and twinge have some hidden meaning, but there are definitely messages our bodies try to send us.
When we ignore them, they generally don’t go away. They might just get louder instead.
The price of ignoring our body’s signals
As I’ve continued my reading on the physical effects of stress, the data is frightening. For example, when we are presented with a stressful situation, our bodies are flooded with cortisol to prepare us for fight or flight. When we can take action to resolve the situation, the levels go back to normal.
However, if we are unable to act, or the stress is perpetual, excess cortisol can get trapped in our bodies. Elevated levels can be responsible for diabetes, heart issues, and other impacts to our health.
Managing stress is key to our health. And, unfortunately, often we find ourselves in perpetually stressful situations. Whether it’s unhealthy relationships at home or overload at work, our bodies can only handle so much before we start getting signals something needs attention.
When we ignore those signals, they get louder and louder until they may need medical intervention.
At my last job, my stress level got to the point where it was harmful to my health. As soon as I started having heart arrhythmia, I went to the doctor and was put on a heart rate monitor.
The results were concerning, and she wanted to put me on medication. While maybe not the best decision, I asked if it was severe enough to wait a few weeks. I was monitored for the next month while the company finished making staffing decisions. In the end, I was impacted by a reduction in force, given severance, and my heart issues ended overnight.
The better answer would have been for me to quit as soon as the issues started, but that’s not always financially feasible. I did my best to protect myself and my health to limit risk until I could exit.
Listen early and often
We are living in the age of disruption and on the receiving end of considerable life and work changes as a result. Throw in a never-ending pandemic, market volatility, and soaring inflation and we are all facing some sort of threat daily.
The threats may not be saber-toothed tigers, but they are no less real to our bodies. How we respond to stress is biological and physical, even if we mentally cannot sense it because we’ve normalized the conditions we live and work in.
No matter how stress is showing up in our bodies, we can listen. Paying attention to how our bodies are behaving when our stress levels appear relatively low can help us baseline. What is our sleep like? Hunger levels? Then notice when things seem out of whack.
Recently, I woke up to the spins a few mornings and was feeling lightheaded multiple times a day. By the second day, it was enough for me to notice…I wasn’t waiting for a longer pattern to emerge.
I considered what I might need that I wasn’t getting. What was different recently? What adjustment could I make to lower my stress levels? Within a week, I adjusted my schedule and was back to baseline.
I’m not ignoring the very real potential of health issues. Since I have several chronic health conditions already, I engage my physician for anything that seems concerning for any length of time (like heart arrhythmia). At the same time, if I want to preclude any new chronic conditions, listening to my body is a critical component to identifying and managing stress I might not otherwise consciously sense.
Stress is too important to ignore
The ability to listen to our bodies and adjust our lives or professions accordingly is a privilege many don’t have. Yes, we can all listen. We can be more intuitive to what our bodies are trying to tell us. Yet taking action in response may require help not all of us have access to.
Leaders can and should look at their organizations to determine how they may be complicit in creating stressful conditions for their employees. Toxic environments not only reduce productivity due to lower engagement. They can create health conditions that drive time away due to doctor’s visits, treatments, or disability claims.
Benefits programs can also go a long way in helping employees manage stressors and improve their health. Employee assistance programs, accessible/affordable health care, flexible schedules and time off, child and elder care support…the list goes on. These benefits give space for employees to identify and/or reduce life stressors that compound potential work stress.
Keeping ourselves, and our teams, healthy should be our top priority. It is up to each one of us to listen to our body and advocate the best we can for what it needs to get and keep us healthy.
For leaders, encouraging our people to invest in their health, and giving them the support to do so, makes for good leadership and good financial sense. We can listen for changes in our people and connect them to whatever resources they may need to manage the stress in their work and lives. The health of the person – and the company – may depend on it.
