I’m certain there are a lot of universal truths out there. There’s one I tend to be faced with again and again (you think I’d learn by now). The universe provides us with what we need, not what we want.
As a planner by trade, I wake up every morning believing I can affect positive change. That I can tackle whatever problems arise that day, help people when they face challenges, and “move the ball” forward on whatever I’m working on.
The idea that I may need to slow down or stop, or not achieve something I’ve decided to pursue…heresy. And yet. When I hit a brick wall again and again, eventually I get it. This isn’t the thing for me, or it’s not yet the time.
Some of the biggest personal and professional developments in my career and life have happened when I’ve felt stuck. Or when I’ve been bored. We may fight it – wanting to fill time or force a change. It can be oh so tempting.
Resist the feeling. The urges that say standing still is an anathema. Sometimes, it’s exactly what we need for our next level of growth.
The benefit of boredom
One of my clients is newly back to work after taking years off to be a stay-at-home mom. She’s back in tech, but after a long time away and many changes in the field. As a result, she’s in learning mode and taking on smaller efforts to build skills in preparation for bigger assignments over time.
She’s feeling under-challenged right now, but is exactly where she should be. She’s constantly looking for new things to learn, dig into, or contribute.
It’s understandable and very tempting. And yet…she has a lot of change going on in her life right now. So I asked – what about the other aspects of your life? How are things transitioning from full-time at home to full-time at work?
She’s not only figuring out how to lean into this tech role. She also has to balance parenting and partnering in this new dynamic. Not to mention finding time for herself.
In her current capacity, she has mental space to intentionally adjust her life to her new circumstances. If she only focuses on work, and doesn’t address her whole life with intention, she’ll soon find herself building patterns and behaviors that will take effort to redesign around the job.
Boredom or lack of challenge is not always a sign to raise our hands. First, we can look around to see what else in our lives may need attention. The universe may be giving us less mental load at work so we can address a mental or emotional need at home.
Stability in the suck
As I mentioned previously, I’ve found a lot of growth when I’ve been in roles where I feel stuck. I recall being a new mom, working in a role I had done years before. It was the right thing at the right time for me and my son. However, I was chomping at the bit to do more.
During that time, I got black belt and agile certifications and then went looking for more personal challenges. I became a professional photographer and then wrote a book. That time started this blog and my life pursuit of making the world better through writing.
I find myself again in a challenging but known role. There are times when I think it might be time to move on. When every day and every week feels like groundhog day, that “stuck” feeling becomes too much and I want to post out.
However, the stability of a known environment – even if it is chaotic – is sometimes to our benefit when we’re taking on challenges in other aspects of our lives. A new role would have new unknowns. The existing challenges are known, even if I’m occasionally struggling.
The current “stuck” has provided me with the space to lean into a new relationship and discover how I want to show up as a partner the second time around. I’m deciding my son’s next steps for school in the fall helping him become a good driver. Whoa Nellie.
When we are tempted to get unstuck, we can check on how much change is happening or planned in our lives right now. If more change is on the horizon, maybe this is the time to hold steady with the familiar that we can plan around.
The space to adapt and respond to change
It is tempting to look around at where we are and see what we lack. A role that’s not challenging enough. Or one that isn’t exactly what we want to be doing with our lives.
I’m not suggesting we get complacent. However, we can consider a more balanced evaluation of our circumstances. What do we HAVE in addition to what we lack? What is the universe giving us right now that we may not realize or appreciate?
It could be giving us space and time to learn and grow. To become the kind of parent or partner we wish to be. To settle one set of changes before we go headfirst into another.
Rather than push against a universe that seems to be uncooperative, we can consider that maybe, just maybe, we’re getting exactly what we need. Exactly when we need it. What feels boring or stuck today may be what gives us the space for our next level up tomorrow.
There is a time and season for everything. What is coming into season for you?
One Response
Nice!! I was wondering where you were going to go with this article after reading the title. I love how you look for other areas for growth when work is not stretching you as hard as you can handle. Perfect timing to round out other aspects of your life that will make you happier which intern will make you show up more energized for your day! Thanks for your insights!