Many years ago, I was a young teen struggling through my mother’s cancer treatment and recovery. Outspoken, direct, and opinionated, my parents had more than one worry on their minds.
Fortunately, my grandmother was there to help. She drove my mother to her treatments. And counseled both parents on their headstrong daughter.
She will be okay, she said. In time, she will mature and make you proud. Just don’t break her spirit.
I have never forgotten those words. Her reassurance to me that I’d turn out okay. That those early struggles would pave the way for some magical day when it would all make sense. When I’d grow into myself.
In those years, I would experience brokenness. My bones. My heart. But never my spirit. That’s what has allowed me to keep going, even on my worst days. What allows me to keep showing up, day after day, with a desire to make the world better.
My grandmother knew that spirit would serve me well in the world, and sought to protect it. As a leader, it’s my turn to protect the spirit of those in my charge. So that no matter what change or uncertainty comes, we can make it through.
From spirited to dispirited
We all start out wanting to contribute. Wanting our unique gifts to make a difference in the world and have meaning.
Getting up each day, going to work, and hoping someone sees what we are capable of. Listens to our voices and ideas. Recognizes when we put in a little extra effort.
Unfortunately, sometimes that doesn’t happen. Maybe most times. We show up and our efforts are expected. Maybe our ideas are shut down. Our energy and enthusiasm are ignored.
In those moments, our spirit is diminished. Bit by bit. Moment after moment. Year over year. Until we stop speaking up. No longer have new ideas. Forget what it was like to come in each day with a spring in our step.
That fire in our bellies goes from raging to barely keeping us warm. Until we forget what we were fired up about to begin with.
That’s when our spirit, or inner fire, has gone out. When we go from inspired to doing the job we’re given. In those moments, change becomes harder. Disruption and turmoil may seem insurmountable.
Leaders are what make the difference. While companies have a culture, leaders create sub-cultures around them. People don’t leave companies. They leave leaders.
As leaders, each day we can choose to chip away at someone’s spirit, or we can bolster it.
It’s never too late
In companies that have been around for a long time, we find people who have been there almost as long. They are staples. So many insights. Knowledge. Potential.
It’s easy to look past them to the new hires. New energy and ideas. We may think that those old dogs can’t learn new tricks.
Instead, maybe we can consider what has been modeled and rewarded. Wonder when is the last time their opinion was solicited? Their ideas heard and implemented?
There’s an opportunity to shine a light on those old dogs. Perk up their ears by asking questions. “What do you think? You’ve been here the longest…what would you do differently given the chance?”
At first, there may be hesitation. Reluctance, as these questions may have been asked fleetingly before. Wait it out. Mean it. Dig in. Ask again.
There is gold there. If we’re willing to mine for it.
Not only does that revive the spirit of those that have been there and done that, it signals to the newbies that their ideas matter. Because if the old dogs were shut down, it’s only a matter of time until the new dogs are too.
Unless we recognize ideas. Encourage innovation. Bolster the spirit of those in our charge. Keep those fires burning to give the team the energy needed to face change and disruption.
Our indomitable spirit
Since that long ago discussion with my grandmother, I’ve considered the importance of protecting the spirit. Of seeing past the surface to the potential each of us has to offer.
Whether that potential has been developed and rewarded, or has been hidden and subdued, it’s there. In some environments, it may be encouraged, so we let it flourish. If the time isn’t right, hopefully we can keep the embers warm until it’s time for them to burn again under new leadership or in a new environment.
As leaders, we have the obligation to create a safe space where everyone on our team can contribute. To listen and be open to different perspectives. Ensure the spark in our employee’s eye keeps burning. Or stoke those embers back to life.
Each of us carries within us an indomitable spirit. One that seeks to continue in the face of adversity. Whether we are carrying within us a pile of embers or a raging inferno, the key is finding a home for it to flourish.
If we are leaders, it’s creating that home. One where ideas come to life and our inner fires are allowed to burn on. We can’t afford to let them die out, as they are what will keep each of us going in the face of the challenges ahead.
