Last fall, I was texting my long-time mentor and friend. The chairwoman I reference in so many of my articles.
During our conversation, she was doubting her contribution to the world. So I reminded her of the contribution she’s had in mine. So many times over.
I was met with resistance. She was insistent that she “didn’t really do anything.” No matter how I communicated the value she contributed, she pushed back. I was stunned. Those moments she felt to be so little were life changing for me. I was left wondering why she couldn’t see the profound impact she’s had on my life.
When pressed, she said that she didn’t want to claim any part of the hard work I’ve done. Her part was “so small” from her perspective, relative to the effort I had put in.
It wasn’t until I helped someone else that I realized the inverse relationship of effort to impact that mentors often have.
The immense value of a 5 minute favor
A former coworker of mine reached out not long after, indicating that she applied for a role at my new company. She asked if I minded advocating for her, in whatever way would work.
Of course I would. I found her to be hard working and was happy to do what I could. I looked up the hiring manager and mentioned that he likely had a resume coming in to keep an eye out for. If he had questions, I was happy to answer them.
That was it. A five minute favor. Nothing monumental…only a few moments of my time.
Soon after, she had an interview or two and then was offered the job. I was so happy for her. Then she offered her gratitude, stating that it couldn’t have happened without my help.
Given the hard work she’s done over the years to have the resume she has, and how she navigated the interviews, I thought nothing of my contribution. But what I saw as a 5 minute favor was a very big deal to her.
I finally understood what my mentor meant. She did the work for that job, not me. I had a very small part to play.
So I tried to remember what it felt like on both sides of that equation.
Inverse relationship of effort to value
As mentors, what we contribute isn’t based on size of effort. Our experience means that we can do a lot with a limited amount of time and energy. Just the right words to the right person at the right time.
Yet our small effort can have immense impact and value.
It’s entirely possible that the recipient of our efforts has to put in significant work to ensure the impact and value is realized. That’s okay. It doesn’t diminish the part we play. Nor does our part minimize the hard work of the recipient.
Instead, this is a mutual enterprise. Both of us contributing what we can to the end success of the individual.
In my case, I had to contribute a considerable amount of energy to realize immense value. But the small contribution my mentor offered at the beginning of my journey got it started. Without the spark, the fire wouldn’t have burned.
That five minute favor I thought little of resulted in a new opportunity for my mentee. While it was a small amount of effort on my part, it was huge value to her. And not something I should dismiss.
Focus on gratitude
Having been the one filled with gratitude, I knew what I needed to do. Acknowledge and accept it.
It may have been 5 minutes for me, but it was life changing for her. The only response to that is “you’re welcome.” I reaffirmed her contribution to the outcome and acknowledged the part I played, no matter how small.
When she said she owed me, I asked that she pay it forward when it’s her turn. That she bring her gifts to bear to help someone else. To me, that’s the ultimate way of showing gratitude.
Every one of us has the opportunity to change the world, by being a catalyst of positive contributions to those around us. Every one of those small moments has the opportunity to have much larger impact long-term.
But only if we honor the part we play in helping others grow and transform. Accepting gratitude when it comes our way. Instead of dismissing the five minute favor as “no big deal,” realizing there is no greater contribution we can have in this world. Nothing greater than being the pebble of change in someone else’s journey.
How have you contributed to someone else’s growth or change journey? Please share your experience in the comments to keep the story going.
