It’s that time of year. Many of us set new year’s resolutions that are just kicking off.
Maybe we’ve been wanting to lose weight or exercise more. The holidays certainly tend to trigger that kind of thinking. It could be saving more money. Looking at credit card debt following gift giving might have made our bank balance cry.
Our resolutions, and the reasons behind them, are as unique as we are. But there’s one thing we all have in common.
We are enough as we are.
A mindset shift
Social media, magazines, movies and more all try to convince us of one thing: there’s always better. That we are somehow lacking if we don’t have, look like, or live like what we see in our feeds each day.
That’s crap.
Not a one of us is defined by our dress size. Our bank balance. GPA. Followers. Title. None of it.
We are enough. Right now. Anyone telling us we’re lacking is trying to sell us something. To line their own pockets or make themselves feel better about what they fear they are lacking.
What would happen if we shifted our mindset from scarcity to abundance? From fear of what we don’t have to gratitude for what we do? For love and acceptance of who we are right now?
It would likely close the doors of a lot of businesses.
From achievement to outcomes
I’ve struggled with my weight for my entire life. Anorexia as a teen triggered health issues I’m still managing as an adult. I’ve gained and lost 40 lbs over and over again as I fought and failed to push my body into submission.
Eventually, I got into fitness as a lifestyle, but it still wasn’t healthy. I was overworking my body. Down to a size 2 and still self-critical. Nothing I did was enough.
I have health conditions that require movement. Regular work outs with high intensity. But I don’t have to punish myself to meet someone else’s beauty standards.
Instead, I can appreciate what my body can do for me right now. I can reward it by doing my part to make sure it keeps working for me into the future.
I’ve changed my goals from achievement to outcomes. Instead of worrying about my size, I focus on my overall health. I focus on consistent movement rather than numbers and give myself grace if I take time off to ensure I don’t risk injury.
I remind myself that I’m enough, just as I am. Focus on being healthy of mind, body, and spirit, and loving who and where I am right now. Being grateful for the body I have, instead of continuing to punish it for what it’s not.
Those are commitments I can make in January that last all year long.
Is it time to recalibrate?
Most resolutions end after the first few weeks of the year. We have a lot of energy in the first days of January…which fades out by February.
Maybe it’s not our commitment, grit, or stick-to-itness. Maybe it’s because we’re chasing someone else’s goals instead of our own.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t want to be healthy, or financially secure, or upwardly mobile. However, why we’re pursuing those goals can make all the difference in whether we achieve them.
Saying to ourselves “I’d like to be healthy for years to come, to be here for myself and my family” is very different than “I’ve got to get down to a size 0 and tone down my thick thighs.”
Everything we desire in life starts within us. We can be enough, and still pursue outcomes that light a fire within us or shine our light brighter. Let’s make sure we’re pursuing our best version of ourselves, and not someone else’s.
