Over the summer, I started working with a coach again after many years. It was part of a certification program I pursued during my summer sabbatical, and we continued after the program finished.
It’s been a true blessing.
There has been so much change over the last few months. Every time we meet, there is something going on that I’m trying to get my head around.
Having a safe space to talk through the challenges, excitement, fear, and uncertainty is something I wish for everyone. There’s no judgment. Just quiet acceptance, questions that get me thinking, and occasional suggestions for how I can rethink when I get stuck.
A client and I were at a transition point, where she was feeling good about our original remit and how things have progressed. I asked her if she’d like to continue, and in what capacity. During the conversation, I gave some examples, including how I engage with my coach.
She was surprised that I have a coach, and then turn around and coach others. She stepped back and considered what that meant in her context. Of her readiness to help others, when she herself is getting help.
We may have doubt of what we can offer others when we are navigating our own challenges. Yet that’s exactly why we should.
What we learn we can share
It doesn’t matter where we are in our lives or careers, we can help others. Full stop.
Maybe we think we need to wait until we have things figured out before we can help. If we wait for that magical day, we’ll never help anyone because we will never have it all figured out.
Frankly, if we consider those that have guided us along the way, none of them were perfect. We are all flawed humans. We cannot offer perfection – we can only offer insights to someone in need of them.
Insights that were informed by experience.
The only reason why any of us that help others have something to share is because we’ve struggled. Toiled. Learned. Fallen down and gotten back up.
That doesn’t make us unqualified to help. It is the very thing that qualifies us.
Put doubt aside
We may doubt we can help someone else when we find ourselves struggling in our own right. We don’t have to have all the answers or be an expert to help other person navigate their journey.
Often, just listening is what someone needs to get them through. How often do we just listen without feeling the need to respond or fix?
In coaching, we’re taught that the client has the power within them. Kind of like Dorothy and her red shoes “You had the power within you all along, my dear.”
As a coach or mentor, we are not there to have all the answers, to solve, or fix. When we truly want to help in the way that best serves the other person, we give of ourselves what they need. Not what we want to give.
Maybe it’s empathetic listening. Or the reality that we don’t have it all together either. That the struggle is the journey.
Or maybe it’s that we have doubts too, but we can put them aside to take the first step.
It’s not about me, but we
Allowing doubt to get in the way of helping others puts the focus on us, or “ME.”
By leaning into helping others, we get out of our own heads. Help quiet doubt and move from “me” to “we.”
None of us are perfect, or have all the answers. All we need is a desire to be of service to others. To put doubt aside, and offer help in whatever way we’re called to give.
