Recently, I wrote about living – and rating – our stories. The article introduced the idea of 5 focus areas of our lives:
- Foundation – base level needs, such as financial security to address food, shelter, etc.
- Health – Our mental, physical, and emotional well-being
- Family – Our partner, children, siblings, parents, and even maybe even our closest friends
- Work – The stuff we do to earn a living
- “The Spice” – The “extra” that makes us unique and our lives a story worth living; this can be anything that’s meaningful to us
While the spice might be what gives our story meaning, purpose, or punch, it was added last. This is likely not that surprising.
The foundation is just that – fundamental to everything else. If we are struggling to put a roof over our heads, everything else takes a backseat. While our health is important – there’s a reason why we’re told to put our own mask before helping others – many of us struggle to put ourselves first. Demands of family and work frequently take a priority.
Maybe we have time left to focus on eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercise. If there’s not much left for our health, then what about the things that bring us joy? Unfortunately, it is only when the others feel stable that we may feel like we can make time for anything “extra.” Yet the spice of life isn’t extra if it’s the thing that gets us out of bed each day.
So how do we find our “extra” and make it something achievable?
What revs our engine?
The first step is to define our spice. It’s different for everyone, but it’s the stuff that revs our engines.
Some of us love being surrounded by people. Others enjoy connection in small doses. Maybe we love pets, or history, or reading.
Consider for a moment what brings the most joy. When do we feel most in our element? What’s the stuff that energizes us, and its absence makes life feel harder? Make a list of all the kinds of activities (or non-activities) that fit that criteria. Next, scan the list and look for themes.
For example, I used to do running and cycling races. Someone might assume working out brings me joy. What’s funny is I don’t get endorphins and prefer not to exercise. However, I love a challenge. The races were a way for me to set a goal and compete against myself to achieve it. The physicality was a health necessity, so I used my passion for challenges to my advantage.
In my case, challenging myself is part of my spice. Going through the list of all the activities that I love, I was able to come up with 4 themes. These are all things that get my juices flowing. Without them, I struggle to cope and find energy throughout the day.
Prioritizing the spice
Once we know what revs our engine, we need to figure out how to make time for those things. When we may already feel like we have little to spare.
I am not suggesting that we add to our overburdened schedules or take on more demands. Instead, we have the ability to rethink our other priorities. Consider how can we introduce more spice into the other aspects of our lives.
For example, home is important to me. It’s also important for me to challenge myself and be creative. At the intersection of both, I recently redesigned and rebuilt my laundry room.
From a time perspective, I could have outsourced the work. However, the challenge of ripping out the old, getting everything to fit, and being able to close the doors (which hadn’t happened in 2.5 years) was too good to pass up. Choosing flooring and paint colors to achieve the look I wanted also tapped into my creativity. I don’t think of myself as a designer, but in this case I had a vision and it felt creative to realize it.
I’ve shared my other spices and some other examples of how I integrate them into the rest of my priorities in the graphic below.
How can our engine revers be integrated into time with our family? Or how we consider our health? Rather than seeing the spice as “extra,” consider it as part of how we approach our life demands.
Spice is life
The expression “the spice of life” means the things that bring life its flavor. I’d argue that spice is life. It’s the stuff that fuels us and keeps us going.
It is risky to ignore the spice because we’re too busy or have prioritized everything else. When we forget the spice, we’re more likely to feel drained or struggle to cope. Which then makes everything else feel harder.
When things feel harder, we struggle to meet our commitments. Which gives even less time for prioritizing health and the things that bring us joy. It can quickly become a negative spiral. It may sound counter-intuitive, but prioritizing our health and joy will give us more energy for all the other demands, not less.
To make it all fit, we may need to reimagine our priorities in a way that integrates the spice into how we achieve them. We don’t have to do it every day in every commitment. However, finding ways to bring more spice means more joy and energy and LIFE to our lives. And couldn’t we all use that?
