As part of my recent job hunting experience, there were a few things I was nervous about. In order, they were: asking for help, connecting with new people to expand my network, and negotiating.
I’ve written at length about my discomfort asking for help, and the pain of networking. Negotiating is something I’ve been able to avoid in (I won’t share how) many years of working.
When it comes to the job hunt, I always thought negotiations started once the job offer was extended, and that I was poor at it. As a woman, I’ve seen the data about negotiations…that we are less likely to negotiate or negotiate well, and our salaries and lifetime earnings are lower as a result.
This time, I was committed to negotiating. I considered what was important to me, and prepared to negotiate on those areas if/as needed.
Well, I ended up accepting the offer as is. And yet, one of my good friends congratulated me on being a good negotiator.
How could I be a good negotiator AND accept the offer as-is?
The long negotiation
When I reflect back on the interview process, negotiation started well before the offer ever arrived.
During screening with the recruiter, we began talking about salary. In each conversation, what mattered most to me came up in the form of questions. By the time the offer was made, the only point of negotiation left was the start date.
Rather than think I was a poor negotiator, I came to realize that negotiation is constant. In every interaction, well before a decision-point.
By knowing what’s important to us from the beginning of engagement, and what we are willing to compromise on, we facilitate agreement when the time comes.
With this in mind, I was able to reframe my earlier job offers. The one that brought me to North Carolina included pre-offer discussions about cost of living and tax differences. About what I would need in a relocation package in order to make the move.
There is plenty of advice out there that says we should always negotiate – and we should. But the key point is that negotiation starts the moment engagement begins.
Be prepared
If negotiation begins at the point of interaction, the best way to ensure a positive outcome is to be prepared.
Recently going into the job market, I had a few options available to me. I was considering launching a coaching practice full-time, going back to corporate work full-time, or attempting a blend of both.
I outlined what I would need for each option to be successful. Could I take a pay and hours cut so that I could work part-time and coach part-time? What would those roles look like?
As I engaged with the company that would become my next employer, I talked early about a part-time role at a lower level. When that wasn’t an option, I had to consider what would need to be included for me to jump back into an executive role full time.
Maybe base pay, bonus, benefits, or time-off are our priorities. Certainly, knowing our minimum needs are key going into a job search.
For me, the priority was my ratio of “doing the work” and helping people. To jump back into corporate life, I wanted to know what type of coaching, mentoring, and employee resource group engagement I’d be able to contribute to the organization.
Be open to “the kicker”
Knowing our priorities and our minimum expectations influence our interactions throughout the interview process. They also help us establish a foundation for negotiation, whether it’s before, during, or after the offer.
Compromise is key on both sides of the table. Knowing where we are willing to give can be as important as knowing what we want to get. At the same time, we can leave ourselves open to what I call “the kicker”. The unexpected delight.
For two prior jobs, I was relocating. I did not expect to get assistance the first time. The second, I was definitely hoping. For the first role, the unexpected relocation assistance was a delight. In the second, it was the scope of the relocation.
In both cases, the companies were committed to making my transition easier. Given the stress and costs of relocating, I was willing to compromise in other areas AND be delighted at the care the companies showed.
Being open to compromise also leaves us open to delight.
Yes, it is important for us to know our priories and minimum expectations going into engagement. However, rather than get attached to specifics, we have the opportunity to remain open. To the kicker that could be a wonderful trade-off or bonus when evaluating an offer holistically.
The risk of not negotiating
My first jobs had set pay rates. It wasn’t until I left for the private sector that I started receiving job offers that were open to negotiation. I had no experience or frame of reference, so the best I could do was compare a job to the one prior.
When I was offered the job at Liberty Mutual, I had a pay window I was looking for. The offer came back within my parameters, and with a kicker of relocation from Phoenix to New Hampshire.
I accepted immediately. Later, my manager told me that concerned him greatly. He expected me to negotiate, and wondered if he got a dud when I didn’t.
That was the first time I considered that, not only was it okay to negotiate, but it may be expected. A hiring manager may believe that if we don’t negotiate, maybe they are overpaying for our talent. That we are being hired into a role above our experience.
This is unfortunate, since there are many reasons why an offer may be jumped at, such as someone who may have been historically undercompensated.
In every case, we should consider if there is an area where negotiation is appropriate. What a company offers in a job go well beyond compensation, such as training and development. Consider whether there is one area worth asking, which will also signal what is most important to us as an employee.
A fine line to balance
There is a lot of literature and data out there that says we need to negotiate. At the same time, negotiating for the sake of negotiating can leave a bad taste in the employer’s mouth. If we push too hard, we may develop a reputation for being difficult before we start.
It is a fine line. In some cases, we may opt to express interest in something like our development, and trust things will play out as discussed in the interviews. In others, we want to make sure there’s a clear agreement that is written and adhered to.
There is no one way to negotiate, and no one set of priorities. For each of us, it’s a dance that begins before we hit submit on a job application. One that doesn’t end with the offer.
We can continue negotiating on the job for those things we eventually want but are prepared to wait and work for.
Are there tips you’d suggest for negotiating during the job hunt? Please consider sharing your experiences in the comments to help others on their journey.
