Over the years, I’ve read about sabbaticals. A benefit offered by some organizations, allowing an employee to take time away to recharge, travel, volunteer, etc.
The idea sounded great. Who wouldn’t want to take a break from endless predictable routines, to do’s, and meetings?
When I was given notice in early May that my job was being eliminated, I was both relieved and slightly panicked. Relieved, because I finally knew which way the future was pointing. After months of unknowns, I could finally take definitive action.
The panic was because as of early June, I wouldn’t have a reason to get up in the morning. My son would be gone for the summer, and there wouldn’t be any work to structure my day around. That magical sabbatical was suddenly mine and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.
A project manager by trade, I immediately started to develop a plan. Fortunately, my upbringing and time working for the Marine Corps taught me a valuable lesson: a plan must evolve as events unfold.
Very little of my summer went as I expected, and I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried.
Doing nothing is harder than it looks
Each summer, I plan ahead for some sort of project or personal development to focus on while my son was gone. This summer would be no different, other than the number of hours in the day I’d have available.
Ahead of my last day, I initiated a coaching program through ICA (International Coach Academy). With classes offered various times of the day and week, I put together an aggressive schedule to finish before my son came home.
Add in time for writing, coaching/mentoring, walking the dogs, peloton rides, and various household stuff, and my days were pretty full. So full, I had to cancel a certification exam I was also hoping to take.
A friend commented that my “relaxation” was probably more scheduled and structured than most working people’s. She was more right than she knew. I began to look forward to the days where I had no classes or commitments and could “do nothing”. Yet even those days had a to-do list waiting for me.
Doing nothing takes as much intention as any other goal.
Guilt sucks; Grace is golden
As part of the coaching program, I started working with a peer coach named JJ. In one of our earliest discussions, we were talking about a trip I planned to take to see Savannah and visit with my family in Georgia.
I was feeling guilty about leaving. I had classes scheduled, jobs to apply for, and networking to do. It was a horrible case of the “shoulds”.
She asked me “Kristin, how long has it been since you took a break from working?” I thought about it, and I had been working non-stop since I was a teen.
It had been only 5 days without work and I was feeling guilty for taking any downtime for myself. I thought I should be working as hard on my coaching program and job applications as I would working for any company. It was my company…and I wasn’t pulling my weight.
She helped me appreciate the gift the sabbatical represented. I had saved money to be able to use this time wisely. To not only pursue movement towards my eventual coaching goals, but to make sure my next step served me well.
I could do neither of those things if I guilted myself into overwhelm and exhaustion. It was time to replace the guilt with grace.
The universe has a plan of its own
For someone that prides herself on being insightful, I’m oblivious to a lot of things. If the universe has a plan for me, I need to be smacked upside the head with it. Subtle just doesn’t work.
I got a call from my father out of the blue in late June. He asked if I could come out to Nevada to help him recover from knee surgery, which had been accelerated from October to early July.
My father never asks for anything, so there was no question I would go. I dropped everything and got on a plane. Pushed everything else aside to focus on his recovery (which is going awesome by the by).
It was only days between my Savannah trip and the trip to Nevada. Then I was home only a few days when my son called and asked to come home early. The plan I so carefully orchestrated, and kept revising, went out the window completely.
I lost sight of my priorities going into the summer. I was so focused on what I needed to do next, that I forgot why I’m doing any of this to begin with. My family is my number one priority and I’ve been unable to see most of them due to COVID.
It took a few times, but I finally got it. My son and I took a vacation together to see my brother and nephew before my new job started (that’s another story entirely). The rest of my list could wait.
Open intention over definitive plans
I went into the summer with all sorts of plans. Coming out of it, I accomplished one thing I planned, and many others I didn’t.
I wouldn’t trade any of it.
The biggest lesson this summer is that plans are just that…plans. They are not etched in stone. It’s not failure for me to reprioritize. I can be open to opportunity and adjust accordingly.
Sometimes, we have to be reminded of our own greatest lessons. This is one I keep learning over and over.
- Know my priorities (be sure to include REST)
- Set an intention
- Develop a high-level plan
- Be open to change
- Remember grace over guilt
I am living the life I dreamed of when I was 20 and created my “80 year plan.” I threw out the project plan in my late 20’s, and yet I still accomplished my greatest intention. How? By focusing on the outcome I wanted, being open to how it came about, and giving myself grace when some steps didn’t go to plan.
Excuse me while I set a reminder for next summer to set an intention and otherwise chuck the detailed project plan.
Have you ever taken a break from work? What did you learn during the downtime? Please share any thoughts and suggestions in the comments to help others on their journey.
