Now that we all watch streaming services, are infomercials even a thing anymore? It seems as though they’ve transformed into pop-up ads in our social media. You know the ones…promising something good that you can get quick and easy. Just pay for shipping and handling.
Generally, when something sounds too good to be true, it is. Get rich quick. Lose weight in 10 days. Experiencing something transformative without real effort is a red flag to question everything.
Yet there is a quick way to improve performance. It doesn’t require shipping and handling, or a special pill. It’s something accessible to everyone, takes virtually no time, and is proven to work.
Predicting successful outcomes
Our brains are powerful, guiding us in ways that are conscious and intentional, as well sub-conscious and unintentional.
I have little doubt we have all looked back on an action taken and thought “why did I do that? I know better.” It could be a junk food binge, procrastinating, or other path that took us away from the outcome we wanted. We’ve all stepped away from our goals at some point, looked back and wondered why.
Even when we have a clear goal we want, and think we are committed to that outcome, our brain may or may not help us get there. It turns out, the stories we tell ourselves are the best predictor of our outcomes.
That’s right. Self-talk matters and can make all the difference between success and failure.
The psychological phenomena of self-talk
While there are likely more scientific studies and psychological patterns at play in the human brain that impact performance, there are two that have recently stood out to me.
The first is called self-fulfilling prophesy. A self-fulfilling prophesy presumes that when we believe something positive or negative regarding ourselves, an outcome, or relationships, our brains will sub-consciously guide us to make it come true.
The second is stereotype threat. This is a related concept, but specific to thoughts and ideas tied to stereotypes. When reminded of a positive or negative stereotype about a group of people that someone belongs to, that individual is more likely to behave or perform in alignment to the stereotype.
The power of thought
When our brains believe something to be true, we will pursue that outcome (often sub-consciously) to make it true. We will make different choices, engage differently, approach or avoid situations, all from a belief.
When we believe a good thing, this can be amazing. However, when we believe something negative, we can manifest that too.
Self-fulfilling prophesy and stereotype threat both back up the idea of having positive thoughts about ourselves and possibilities, and being careful with negative thoughts. Our brains will guide us subconsciously towards whatever outcome we truly believe, even if our conscious mind says different.
Self-talk matters – both about ourselves and others. If we believe something negative about a relationship, or a person – even subconsciously – we act and react in ways that reinforce the negative belief. We can inadvertently will the thing we believe into reality.
If we want better outcomes, for ourselves or our teams, we can challenge negative beliefs, fears, assumptions, and self-talk. We can literally will ourselves and our teams to success through thought.
An example from the archives
Many years ago, I was working on my Computer Science undergraduate program. Some classes I liked and several I was challenged by. There was only one I hated – Machine Language.
In it, I had to learn how to read and write in 1’s and 0’s to understand how computers process information. I struggled throughout the course, but did my best to push my way through.
I had to get at least a C in the class. If I couldn’t, the Marine Corps – who was paying for my degree as a Cooperative Education student – would have to fire me. I’d lose my job, my education, and my future would be wrecked. No pressure.
At the final exam, I sat down and started reading through the questions. Never before, and not since, I quit before I started. I put my pencil down and walked out. I literally saw the end of my future as I looked at the page. I couldn’t answer a single question.
My instructor followed me outside. I told him I couldn’t take the test. That I didn’t know a single answer and he’d have to fail me.
At this point, he could have let me go. Instead, he asked me a question and then another. I didn’t have the right word or term each time, but I could describe in detail the function, part, or outcome. I was focused on what I couldn’t remember. He focused on what I did.
He told me he knew I would pass and that I obviously knew more than I gave myself credit for. His belief offset the negative belief I had in myself and my knowledge. It allowed me to go back in, complete the test, and ultimately get a B in the class.
The one quick thing we can all do
That experience taught me two things.
First, the thing we fear becomes real. I was so afraid of ruining my future (I had already lost a full scholarship previously and the Marine Corps felt like my “second chance”) that I was letting fear drive me to ruin it myself.
I don’t even recall whether I believed women were or were not welcome in STEM. I know there were only a handful of women in the classes. That may have also played into the idea that I wasn’t meant to be there and sub-consciously influenced whether I thought I’d pass the test.
The second thing I learned was the power of someone else’s thinking. My professor could have let me go. He could have let me believe I was a failure, stupid, or whatever else I was telling myself that day. Instead, he believed in me when I couldn’t.
If we find ourselves in situations where we are pursuing a hard thing, or something we dearly desire, we can quiet the mind and determine whether we have positive or negative self-talk bouncing around in there. We can challenge the negative and reinforce the positive to direct the brain towards that positive outcome we desire.
If it’s not us, but someone on our team or close to us, we can reassure them of something positive. We can challenge stereotypes, self-talk, or fears. We can help them see their true potential so they can reengage in a positive way.
The mental boost we can all use
It’s not a pill and there’s no shipping and handling, but there is a quick fix to improve performance. It’s all in our own minds, and our own power.
What we tell ourselves has immense impact on our outcomes. Our stories about ourselves become real because we make them real. The same holds for the stories we tell about others. We make them real in how we engage, support, or treat those around us.
To get to the good we want, we have to root out the negative self-talk, stereotypes and limiting beliefs that hold us, and those around us, back. By putting positive thoughts out there, we can will them to be true.
