When I started listening to Brené Brown’s podcasts, I was so excited.  I love to learn and she introduced me to new voices.  Perspectives I had never considered or heard before.  New books were purchased and I found myself researching and learning about things I was previously unaware of.

A few weeks later, I was preparing for discussions with my son about the death of George Floyd.  I committed to diversifying my social feeds.  More voices were added.  New perspectives I had not considered were contemplated as I began to research race, systemic racism, and how to be an antiracist. 

As part of my efforts, I discovered @pullupforchange, which is challenging corporations to share the make up of their boards, leaders, and teams.  Following so many organizations posting support of Black Lives Matter or participating in Blackout Tuesday, they wanted to know what these organizations were actually doing to reflect the equality they claimed to support.

It has been amazing to see so many companies post their numbers transparently, and, recognizing that they weren’t particularly diverse, commit to doing better.

Diversity in our personal circle

Years ago, I read an article about all the types of friends we need in our lives.  For me it influenced the idea of a personal board of directors.  Our board would be those in our personal and professional circles that lift us up, hold us accountable, and help us be the best version of ourselves.

Recently, I was connecting with a wonderful former mentor turned friend.  She is my “chairwoman.”  She is quoted regularly, challenges me in the best ways, and is someone I feel grateful to have entered my life and been able to influence it so greatly.  

Following that conversation, I started thinking.  What if it wasn’t just corporations?  How many of us participated in Blackout Tuesday?  Say we want equality and want to do our part?

What if we all looked at our personal board of directors?  Would we find diversity? What if this is one thing we can ALL do to practice diversity and inclusion in our lives?

I’m game for sharing.  When I think about my circle, who’s in it?  The ones I reach out to when I’m struggling or have a win to celebrate? Those I ask for feedback on my thinking or writing?  Do I have a diverse board, or is it a lot of people that look like me?

Why diversity matters

Part of me is horrified by the idea of labeling people.  Because these are friends of mine.  Real people I trust.  Who trust me as well, I sure as hell hope.  I would hate for any of them to think they are my most trusted confidents and friends because they fall into some sort of box.  

Like many of us, I was raised to be “color blind” and see value in all of my friends for who they are, not what they look like.  After much reading and learning, that’s surely a problem.  Because if I don’t look, or am unwilling to see, can I recognize voices that may be missing?

I think it is critical for us all to take a look at our circles.  If we are surrounded by groups that are completely homogenous at work and at home, we risk existing and thinking in a bubble that reflects back what we put into it.  

Per Robin Arzon, my favorite Peloton instructor, “Without challenge, there’s no change.”  It’s that simple.  

The WORLD needs to change, and I’d like to be part of that.  Not just on Blackout Tuesday, but every day.  To do that, I need to continue to commit to a diverse circle.  To a board that helps me grow, and doesn’t just reaffirm what I want to believe or think I know.

Opportunity remains

If I compare my life now to 2 years ago, my circle has become much more diverse. My closest friends were almost entirely white women in my age range.  When you live in a state that is 99.4% white, I guess that’s to be expected.

Fortunately, in a more diverse state, work environment and neighborhood, I now have rich and deep friendships that cross a range of factors, including race, gender, and sexuality.  There is always more opportunity in all of those areas, but I found a huge gap in age. 

Going through this exercise tells me I’m missing an opportunity.  While I have many my age and a few older in my circle, there are none that are younger.  Why might that matter?  Why should any of us care?

In my last role, there was a woman I worked with who used to call herself the lone Millennial.  She offered a different perspective when a group of us would get together as leaders to discuss opportunities or challenges. While something may seem normal or appropriate for us, she would offer up why that might meet with resistance by a good chunk of our organization.

None of us has all the answers.  On anything.  No matter how much experience we have.  No matter how much we read, research or learn.  Diverse friends and trusted colleagues can offer differing views to help identify blind spots, potential gaps or misunderstandings, and prevent us from stepping in the poop.

I am not going to run out and find myself a new young friend to hang out with.  I don’t suggest that we go through this exercise to fill a gap in a disingenuous way.  However, now that I’m more aware, I can consider opportunities to be influenced by younger perspectives.  Encourage and intentionally participate in reverse mentoring, for example.

Let’s pull up for our own change

I use age as an example of a gap in my circle for two reasons. One, because it’s true. The second, because it may be easier for someone to say “of course that’s a problem.” It is the same thing if everyone in our circle shares our race. We miss a huge opportunity for different perspectives that can enrich our lives, and our leadership.

Additionally, whether it’s women, POC, LGBTQ+…when our circles are diverse they benefit as well. I recently read a post on LinkedIn about every day things we can do to help Black colleagues, such as offering interview prep for an upcoming job opportunity.

We all help those in our circles. If white people surround themselves with other white people, it is lifting up a single group. If our circles are diverse, we can help lift up those who might not otherwise receive the support many of us may take for granted. Something each of us can do to create equity.

It is amazing to watch an organization like @pullupforchange create awareness, because if we can’t SEE something, how in the world do we know to change it?  

We all have an opportunity to take a good look around at our trusted advisors, closest friends and colleagues.  

Are we surrounded by people that look like us, believe the things we believe, and like what we like?  While that may be an easier way to get through life, I’m not sure that it will push us to grow, learn, and be the best humans we’re capable of being.  

We’ve got one trip around this rock, and with a little work by each of us, we can leave it better than we found it.

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What are your diversity and inclusion practices at home or at work? I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas in the comments.