I dedicate my week to my day job. The weekend I try to carve out time to decompress. To sit with what has been happening. To feel and to write.
There is something brewing inside. An energy I want to let out. But today was not that day. I am not yet ready to set it loose on the page. But writing called. Creativity. Connection.
So I went for a walk.
I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Trying to embrace movement, since my work involves so much sitting. I love my space. A cocoon I can close off from everything and focus on my day. It’s an improvement over open seating and a sense of always being “on.”
My energy is different in my home than in the office. I feel lighter. An ability to be more open behind my screen and keyboard in a way that is sometimes difficult for me in person. A sense of being home and centered in an uncertain time, which is necessary for all the change we are experiencing. And more that is coming.
I feel gratitude that the necessity of being remote is actually providing me the very thing I need most to navigate these times.
My tendency is to hunker down, however. The solitude and comfort is wonderful, but too easy to get caught up in. So the walks ensure I get out. I connect with something larger than the four walls I’m surrounded with each day.
Distraction as a way to focus
While the walk was a distraction from what I was not yet ready to write, I knew that the time I was taking could be different if I let it. A different kind of energy. Of observation and connection.
Off I went, in search of a new path. I went slower, taking time to really see everything around me, as I have been wont to do the last week.
Each day I’ve found something new. Something I’ve driven by endless times and never noticed. Now I notice. I look. Smell. Circle back and really observe that which catches my eye. It’s almost like magic – things that were hidden during my daily rush, but always in plain sight.
I took the long way through the roads in my neighborhood. Every dead end and side road. Doubling back on familiar roads with my eyes and heart open. A ready smile for the rare neighbor out on this beautiful day.
In searching for distraction, we can find beauty in the quiet. Instead of racing through my walk or talking on the phone to fill the time, I took my time. As if I had all the time in the world, instead of racing back to find other, more active distractions.
Alone but together
Throughout my walk, I realized I may be by myself but I’m not alone. I carry my friends with me.
At each garden, I was reminded of one of my friends and the love she has for her garden. I saw her in the tchotchke and lawn ornaments. In the frog statue and bee decoration.
Then I realized I was actually together with my neighbors, though we haven’t met and did not speak.
When I allow myself to pause and open, I am consumed with the stories I sense in the bits of life around me. A little bit of magic…which I – and maybe all of us – could use navigating this unusual path.
I imagine the joy a neighbor found in selecting their lawn ornaments. And their renewed joy in seeing me stop and admire them. Why the VW bus planter? I can picture how well this neighbor might get along with my eclectic friend.
When I admire their flowers, I wonder why these bulbs. The specific colors. Like honeysuckle reminds me of the first home we owned as a child, what memories do these petals invoke for the one who cares for them?
I stop and contemplate the maze one mowed into their lawn. Imagined the care it took and wonder at the story behind it. Because there must be one. It is too intentional to be haphazard. Or maybe they were caught by inspiration that day. Maybe that’s the energy I’m stepping into when I pause and breathe it in.
Stories are all around us
I was surrounded by stories today. Though I don’t know the authors, every yard had a story to tell.
When I paused and really took in what I was seeing, I wondered. Wanted to know. A few times, I was tempted to knock on doors and ask “what’s that about?”
At one point I walked by books piled up in the street. Left in a colorful stack. Who left them there and why? Why one mathematics book and 4 psychology ones? Did they get the grant or pursue a different path? Who would I even ask, as they were at a random corner with no obvious owner nearby?
I took some photos along the way and was inspired to take my camera with me next time. The first time I’ve been inspired to do any photography in quite some time.
When I mentioned at home that I’d be going out to shoot later, I was asked “What did you see? Was it something beautiful?” My response was “Yes. The best kind of beauty. I saw stories everywhere.”
There was initially some confusion until I showed a picture of the books. There were so many questions I couldn’t answer and finally “there’s a story there.” Yes, there is.
The stories we live
We are all living a story and leaving signs of it for others to read, whether we realize it or not. For now, we may not be able to interact directly, but indirectly we are signaling the things that are important to us, or not.
When I returned home, I considered what my house may say to my neighbors.
Does it show that I care for it, dress it up, or maybe that it’s just house? A house until you enter and all signs of welcoming are within. What makes it truly beautiful is all inside. Maybe a bit like its owner.
I plan to continue my walks, maybe bringing my camera to see if I can capture the stories that speak to me along the way. It has been an unexpected gift to discover that a healthy distraction could ignite storytelling. While this is an uncomfortable process, I feel grateful for the magic that can be found along the way.
How are you spending this time? Are you giving yourself space for whatever it is you may need? Maybe that’s rest, movement, or creativity. Or maybe it’s distraction because that’s where you are right now. That’s okay. It must be, with no judgment.
We are all doing our best to navigate an unknown and chaotic time. Whatever story you’re living right now, the only thing I wish for you is the grace to accept it’s what you need and to do it unapologetically.
4 Responses
Beautiful Post! This is an excellent call to action for us to take a moment to slow down and make sure we use this time wisely. After reading this, I’m now headed outside to take a walk of exploration and inspiration! Thank you for sharing this insight!
Thank you Endya! I am just starting to understand how much I rush by every day, not really noticing. I took my camera back out again this evening. It might become a fixture again, as it was years ago, forcing me to pause and focus more. Enjoy your exploration! I’d love to hear what you find.
Love this, Kristin! Your writing really paints a picture and takes me away. I enjoyed this so much and hearing about how beautiful life was for you this week in the slow lane 🙂 xoxo
Thank you Betsy! My photo muse was definitely inspired. I very much appreciate your book recommendations that prompted me to get back out there and allow inspiration to find me in this new form.