The new year is about to begin. And with the new year come the resolutions. Things we decide to start, stop, or change.
Unfortunately, many of those resolutions don’t make it further than the end of January.
If we really want to affect a change, it starts with looking at where we are and deciding if that’s where we want to stay.
Living small
Two years ago, I went on vacation with a friend of mine. He had a full trip planned and I was mainly tagging along, so we ended up doing a lot of things that were new to me. It was the first time in a long time trying things outside of my comfort zone.
I can’t remember ever spending time with someone who didn’t share my taste in music. I discovered a lot of new bands and genres that week. We went to a concert of a musical style I had never heard of and, despite my early concerns, had a blast.
After returning home, I wondered whether my other friends really enjoyed the same music I did. The same foods? Or had my interests become their lowest common denominator?
After asking a few of my friends, my fears were realized.
I used to consider myself bold and adventurous. I hadn’t realized how small I was living. Once I became aware, the only question was how to break free of the box I found myself in.
Acknowledge Where You Are
Do you find yourself listening to the same kinds of music, going to the same restaurants, or otherwise following the same habits?
Maybe it goes deeper…finding yourself in the same kinds of relationships, hitting a plateau because you do the same workouts day after day, or selecting the same style “uniform” each morning.
To find opportunities to break free of any limits you may have created, look at a possible pattern and ask yourself “Do I limit myself in some way?” “Would I benefit from new experiences?” If the answer either is yes, consider it as a possible focus area.
I spent an entire year on what I called my “experiments.” I spent one month each on twelve different focus areas including hobbies, health and wellness, fitness, travel, fears, and relationships.
Your own list may be different and could be significantly shorter. No matter how many, or what the focus, you can begin to transform yourself with five steps.
1. Rally the troops
Once you identify a theme, talk to your friends and family. They likely see your patterns better than you do.
Ask them what they like or how they spend their free time. You may be surprised by what you discover.
My friends really got into my growth. I experienced all sorts of fun activities my friends enjoyed but never invited me to because they didn’t think I’d like them. Not everything was my favorite (tribal dancing and acupuncture were a no), but I certainly learned a lot.
2. Start Small, Then Go Big
Building all new habits start with microsteps. Regardless of the focus area, start small, getting uncomfortable. Look for opportunities to try things you think you won’t enjoy.
For example, tapas is an easy way to try new foods and not worry about wasting food or expense. They are small plates that allow the opportunity to try a new preparation or share with others in case you really don’t like it.
I thought I hated seafood and wouldn’t eat it for years. I started with trying a fish taco. By going out with foodie friends, we shared plates, allowing me to work my way up to oysters, ceviche, and octopus. Now I’m a seafood regular.
3. Stay Committed
Once you’ve spent some time trying new things, it can become addictive. However, it doesn’t always start out that way. There will be days you want to quit. Whether it’s exercise, foods, or music – you’ll be tempted to go back to the ways things were.
To stay committed, ask for help. Get your friends involved. Family too. Ask for recommendations. Try them.
To help with my commitment, I made small agreements with myself. Every time I went to a restaurant, I’d ask for recommendations and order one thing I’ve never tried before. That way, even if I chose a favorite side or dessert, at least one part of my meal would be new.
4. Try things twice
The first time trying something new might not feel like a fit. That doesn’t have to make it a bust.
Be willing to try things twice. Maybe with a different preparation if it’s food, or another artist if it’s a new type of music. A different type of fitness class or different instructor.
The human body likes homeostasis…an even keel. We are constantly trying to find that comfort level. To truly change, we have to be willing to break through the initial discomfort to create new normal. It might take a few tries to get it right.
5. Have Grace
Making a change can be fun, challenging, and everything in between. When it’s not fun is when the most important step comes in: having grace with ourselves.
There’s a reason why we find ourselves following certain patterns. Life can be stressful enough without worrying about every single choice.
I’ll admit…occasionally I jam out to my favorite playlist on Spotify (again) or select a familiar item on a menu. The known can be a comfort, one I can accept or beat myself up over.
Committing to growth is one thing. Being unyielding with yourself is quite another. Words matter, so try to remind yourself … while it is admirable that you want to try new things, there’s nothing wrong with doing something you like.
Whatever blend of familiar and new you commit to, have a wonderful new year enjoying the experiences.
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Have you ever branched out and embraced new experiences? Are you committing to making a change this year? I’d love to hear your story.
