Hi there. Remember me? I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t. I disappeared for three years and thought my writing days were over.
I’ve had ideas. Sparks of interest. But they couldn’t compete. Couldn’t compete with everything else going on in my life.
Time for a Break
Writing is as core to who I am as my hair, eye color, or my walk. Looking back, I’ve been writing since a very young age. Whether it was journals to capture my thoughts, notes to friends to share secrets, stories to make us laugh…all long before I started writing for anyone outside my circle.
I embraced the mantle of writer many years ago now. I began publishing and sharing my work with the world outside my personal and professional networks a decade ago, first in photography and later in leadership. And I wrote religiously. You could not separate me from this form of expression.
Four years ago, my health took a dive and I spent a year recovering. Writing became a way to spend my recovery and I poured all of my energy into my passion. I was focused on what my brain could do, instead of what my body couldn’t.
Three years ago, I was healthy again and determined to stay that way. All of my energy went into my body and I left none for my passion.
Two years ago, I walked away from my marriage. I had time for my son, my health, and work. Everything else was survival. The truth was a dark and ugly place and I wasn’t interested in dressing it up. There may have been people who would have benefitted from my words during that time, but I didn’t have it in me to share them.
As a passion, writing had always been positive. My words and thoughts were not positive for a long time.
A year ago, I moved away from all that was familiar to a new state, new company, and new home. We moved three times in 2 years and it was like groundhog day, survival year 2.0.
What little writing I eked out was primarily focused on single mom anecdotes, because a little laughter goes a long way. A little bit of positive that helped carry me through.
The Break is Over
This summer has been about rediscovering things I love. And writing has always been one of them.
The words have been there. Emerging a bit at a time over the last year. When I’ve had moments to rest.
I’ve journaled more in the last year than I had in the 16 before. I never wanted to write about the lie I was living, until I wasn’t living it anymore. Then I had to get it out. Letters. Journals. Prose. Bad poetry. Words are my superpower and so very healing.
At work, I started writing a few months ago. First it was weekly updates to my team. I’d share something personal to help them know me better. Accomplishments from their peers they might not be aware of. Things going on across the organization I thought were important.
Next came posts to the broader organization. More about what was going on. Less personal and more professional, but still writing every week.
Then a few weeks ago, I was asked to be part of a panel to talk about having courageous conversations. Oh did the words fly as I was preparing. Then it was a panel on confidence. And the words flew again.
I published my first article in over three years last week. It was after a conversation with someone at work and I couldn’t let it go until I wrote about it. I haven’t felt that kind of compulsion to write for a long time.
Time to Thrive
So here I sit. I’m camping with my son. Something we used to enjoy as a family. Something I feared because someone else was always the responsible and knowledgeable one.
These days, I face all of my fears head on. I’m now the proud owner of a popup camper, can tow it hundreds of miles, and back it into narrow lanes to set it up. The kiddo is proud, but not as proud as I am.
It’s time. Time to thrive instead of just survive. Go camping and write while sitting by the fire. Stay up late scribbling ideas. Share it all and embrace the mantel of vulnerability that I claim to live and lead by.
I feel like I’ve come full circle over the last four years…
Sometimes self-care means investing in your passion to pull you through.
It may mean putting your passion aside to be healthy.
To survive.
To start over.
Sometimes it means rediscovering your passion.
Or putting your past behind you.
The journey ahead will have more challenges. More disruption. More opportunities to face my fears and thrive. I look forward to the journey ahead. I hope you enjoy the ride.
