As I mentioned a while back, we recently moved to a new home. It was the day before we were supposed to close and everything was lined up – supposedly little risk.
Within hours, everything fell apart. We lost our buyers and found ourselves in the middle of a dilemma. Do we move back to the house we own or stay in the house we love with great schools, neighbors and friends for our son?
While we wanted to believe that things would work out, six weeks in, there was no change. We were sitting on an empty house that wasn’t moving, though everyone told us it should “any day now.”
How long do you trust that fortunes will go your way before you either give up or make something happen?
I wanted to give up several times. Good sense told me to chalk this up to a life lesson and move back. Then I would see my son playing with his new friends, the freedom he enjoys here that isn’t available at our old home, and think about how he has adjusted so wonderfully to the change.
Did I really want to rip him out of another home so quickly because of my own impatience?
I came to the conclusion that my frustration has been about control. We felt a sense of control, lining up the moving company and getting settled, all before close. Why? Because we were tired of waiting. Wanting to move back to our old house is about controlling what I can – because we can’t control unknown buyers and are, again, tired of waiting.
What do you do when you can’t move forward and you can’t move back? Maybe it’s possible to think differently about where you are and what your options are.
Talking to our new neighbors, it turns out one of them is renting out their home because they wanted to move and couldn’t sell. It opened our eyes to different options that we had not considered. Possible directions we didn’t see because we were thinking the only choices were forward or back.
We immediate pursued Plan C (or whatever letter we were on at that point), feeling more in control than we had in weeks. Days later, moving forward with a sense of purpose, we had an offer and were under contract. We have not yet closed, but are well under way.
This whole process has taught me that you can’t control everything. However, you always have a choice. If all choices seem negative, thinking differently about what’s possible may identify another opportunity.
No matter what the circumstances and choices, mindset means everything. When we felt that we were at the mercy of the waiting game, generally negative about what we were going through, nothing moved. As soon as we felt positive, moving forward with another option, things turned around.
Even when circumstances are rough, finding a way to keep a positive outlook and make forward progress can mean the difference between getting caught in a negative spiral and coming out on top.
Have you ever been faced with two solutions, thinking you couldn’t take either one? What did you do? Please share your story in the comments and keep the conversation going.
