We could get up every day and follow the path laid out before us. It is comfortable to travel known roads, with clear signs. Signs that tell us what’s allowed, how fast to go, when to turn, or when to slow down.
Yet taking those roads mean letting someone else decide our journey. Our path in life.
We are not designed to show up every day for our limited days on this planet, only doing what others think we should do. We are designed to figure out just what we can do.
We cannot know courage, unless we are willing to experience fear. What fear can be found on a known path?
We cannot know growth, unless we are willing to experience discomfort. How uncomfortable can we feel, following the footsteps of someone else?
Be brave. Take an unmarked turn and make the trail your own.
Sometimes I don’t have any better answers than you do. It shouldn’t be a secret – at times we are all winging it.
Do your best. It will be good enough. I promise.
The Doing it all Myth
I always knew I would be a working mom. Long before I understood what that really meant, or even found someone to share the journey with. Reality has proven to be more wonderful, and challenging, than I ever imagined.
Managing both means being present, making progress, and knowing my priorities. It means making trade-offs every day that allow me to be the best I can at both, but falling short of perfection at either.
Years into this exciting journey, I sometimes dismay when I hear people talk about how much I seem to get done. The “how does she do it all?” question is easy to answer. I don’t. And neither does anyone else.
Let’s dispel the “do it all” myth and talk about how we can best manage whatever it is that we commit to doing.
Reject Perfection and Obligation
First off, I’m fundamentally missing the domestic gene. It’s no secret. I even wrote it into our vows – I will love my husband, but housework just isn’t happening.
Home-related stuff can be a full-time job on top of work. I have no expectation that I can or need to do it all.
Talking with a friend recently, she mentioned feeling obligated to do something she didn’t sign up for. That is a reminder to all of us – we cannot do it all, and should not feel burdened by a sense of obligation that pushes us to try.
I’m not domestic, and that doesn’t make me less of a woman. I’m a good mom, and I’m not perfect. I don’t obsess about where I might be falling short, instead I focus on what I want to do well.
In order to life a relatively guilt-free life, and feel good about our ability to parent, work, befriend and self-care, that’s where we must begin.
We may look back and cringe upon some of our decisions. We may wish there was a “do over” button in life, that would get us back to some point before bad decisions, bad hair days, or bad dating partners.
Yet all of those “bad” things got us here. To who we are now.
We wouldn’t be nearly this interesting if we didn’t have a few bumps in the road. What kind of advice would we have to give others if we hadn’t gone with “Plan B” a few times in our lives?
The detours, bumps and potholes in our journey got us here. What we do from this point forward is completely up to us.
Tag. You’re in. Shine as brightly as I know you can.
See you in a few months.