Good on paper
From the outside, it all looks so good. A beautiful family. A great job. The well decorated home in a good neighborhood with reputable schools.

What is there for her to be unhappy about?

Confidence in meetings and interactions. Knowing just what to say and what to do. On a trajectory that everyone can see.

What is there for him to doubt?

As we close out 2013, I want to share a little known secret. I don’t always have it together. I’m not always happy. Sometimes I doubt myself and my decisions.

And I’m not the only one.


That person that seems to be so organized and confident may have huge credit card debt and be worried about making ends meet.

The one that looks to have it all may be on the verge of losing their family and is burying themselves in work to avoid thinking about it.


Social media doesn’t help with this notion that perfection is achievable and should be our aspiration.

How many share the negative?  Some do, but if it’s too much, others may be reminded of their own struggles and tune out.

We want to share the achievements – the promotion or new house. Who wants to share their marriage is falling apart or they can’t make rent?  With close friends and family face-to-face, maybe, but out for the world to see?  Often not.


This has been a bumpy year. For every upbeat post, fun photo or proud accomplishment, there have been corresponding moments of doubt, worry or outright panic. I have wondered where to go next, mentally forcing each step forward, while continuing to stride confidently in public as I was taught to do.

The truth is, you aren’t alone. You never are. Whatever you are going through, someone else you know is or has.  You’d be surprised at what you’ll learn about those people you watch from afar, if only you could see past the public face.


As a leader, I have shared my personal challenges with others who may be struggling. It helps them understand that you can get through a rough patch. That someone else has been there and gotten to the other side. It might be your personal journey, but you aren’t the only one who’s made it.

Here in the blog, I don’t share my struggles while I’m going through them. I wait until I get to the other side and can reflect back with some sort of perspective and (hopefully) insights that will help others.


So why do I share this?  Because maybe you’ve had a rough year, month or day.  I’ve been there. I’ll be there again. I get through the best I can and that’s all any of us can do. I share this so you know you’re not the only one.

Don’t think life needs to be perfect – it just needs to be your best attempt to be the best you there is. Some days you’ll nail it. Other days you will fail miserably. Just keep getting up, dusting yourself off and trying again. Know I’m right there with you.


May you have the 2014 you wish for and the motivation and energy to keep going in those moments where it may not be.